Sunday, 07 September 2008

• I am not Wicked nor do I have a Wart on my Nose

  I am a step mother. I am not evil, I don't have a wart on my nose, and I don't make them do all the housecleaning. If I could just talk them into cleaning their own rooms I would be beyond thrilled.

  I am a bit different than most step mothers I know. My husband has full custody of his three children and they have lived with us since the day he and I got together. Their real mom was not quite ready for the reality of being a single mother with three children and gladly handed them over a year after the seperation. I had moved in with my now husband just two short days prior. Talk about a ready made family.

  We have been together almost seven years now. His children were six, four, and two when they came to live with us. To say that it has been a difficult road would be the understatement of the year. I also came into this relationship with three children. At the time we moved in together, my children were ten, six, and four. It was very much like having two sets of twins. Since that time, we married and added two more children to the mix. Life is often hectic, but we love one another and we figure things out.

  That is until the ex wife wants to visit the children. She sees them usually once every three months. She only lives an hour and a half from us, but something always seems to come up on her weekends. After over a month of promises to come pick the children up and take them school shopping, she finally made the trek. Of course, she couldn't quite make it the entire way.

  This is what always occurs. She calls just after leaving to make the drive with some excuse as to why she can't make the entire trip. This means that either my husband leaves work early to meet her somewhere or I have to delay my plans and take them. If she were picking them up on a regular basis, I would have no problem meeting her halfway. Heck, if she were picking them up more than once every three months, I would jump for joy and be there with bells on. The fact of the matter is, she only wants to play mom on holidays and her birthday. It is my job to get them to and from school. It is my job to make sure their homework is complete, showers are done, and bedtimes are adhered to.

  Yes, this is a total rant. Just last evening she called demanding that myself or my husband meet her halfway tomorrow to pick up the children. Her excuse was that she was tired and she had to work. My husband is at work, I am at home with three children and believe me, that is work. On Friday I was forced to cancel plans with my daughter and take the children to meet their mother. I say forced because I quite adamently stated I would not drive down the road to meet her any longer.

  I guess what bothers me the most in all of this is my husbands viewpoint. He thinks that we should accomadate her in every way. I say that if she isn't held responsible for taking care of them on the few weekends she has them, including their transportation, she will always be this part time mother.

  I am a step mother, but in all sense of the word...I am mom.

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