Thursday, 20 November 2008
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Breasts or Bottle?
No, this is not going to be one of those that says my way is the right way and your way is wrong, this is a story of my journey through the age old question and my journey alone.
I must start with some backstory. My grandmother gave birth to my uncle late in life. As a result of that, there is only 18 months between my sister and our uncle. My grandmother was a firm breastfeeding kind of mom and my mom just wasn't. My sister and I were born in the late 60's and I get the impression that more and more women were moving away from breastfeeding favoring bottle feeding instead.
According to my mother, my grandmother breastfed my uncle until past the age of two. My mother had very strong opinions about that, none of them favorable. As a result, my mother bottle fed my sister, myself, and many years later, our brother. In turn, she instilled in us her very strong dislike of breastfeeding and for that reason, I did not even consider it an option for my first two children.
My best friend was a huge breastfeeding proponent and raised my awareness of how beneficial it could be to the baby. It was largely due to her that I began to research the option when I became pregnant with Alyssa. I told my mother as well as my then husband of my decision to breastfeed. You would have thought I had said I wanted to hang her from the ceiling fan and spin her around based on the reaction I received. I was determined to follow through, however, and ignored their comments.
Following her birth, my family came to the hospital to visit. I was attempting to get Alyssa to latch. My mother kept making not so nice comments and my sister actually left the room because "that was the grossest thing she had ever seen". I held strong and continued to try and latch her for the next few days. I was getting no support out of any of the family, but Tammy was right there giving me the encouragement I needed. My attempt at breastfeeding ended the day we came home. I was pumping so that my then husband could feed her while I took a quick shower. Alyssa was still having latching issues so I thought a bottle of breastmilk was better than nothing. When I handed him the bottle he practically threw it back at me and refused to feed her. He said he would give her a bottle of formula, but he was in no way feeding her that stuff.
I knew that I could not breastfeed my child with that kind of negativity so I simply gave up.
After Matt and I married and found out we were pregnant with Caleb, I approached him on his feelings about my breastfeeding. He looked at me like I was crazy and asked why I thought he would mind. After explaining my past attempt he just laughed and said they were by breasts and if I wanted to feed our child with them, he supported me totally. Caleb was a champ at the latching and we had a very successful experience. Matt would even give him a pumped bottle on the rare occasion that my breasts were not available.
When I became pregnant with Emily, there was no doubt that I would breastfeed. I had loved it with Caleb and had not stopped until he weaned himself at 18 months. Sadly, due to Em's many health issues at birth, breastfeeding just wasn't an option. We tried for almost two days to get her to latch, but she was so weak that she just didn't have the strength. We would soon learn that she would be fed with a feeding tube due to the bile that was retained in her stomach. Once her stomach situation was cleared, she was able to take the bottles that I had pumped for her, so she was getting my breastmilk for a time. After a month, my supply just dried up. I had tried the supplements, but they only worked for a week. Em went to formula only at 1 month.
As you can see, I have done both. For me personally, I wish that I had breastfed from the first child. Caleb was the only one that had the real experience of it and I am happy to have had at least that.
Did you bottle or breastfeed and what was the decision behind the choice?
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Comments (9)
I bottle fed baby number one b/c I had to go back to work and didn't want to start something I couldn't finish. With baby number 2 I decided to breastfeed b/c of the benefits associated with breastfeeding. I'm so happy I made this choice. I think support is very important. For those who aren't supportive they aren't taking into consideration the function breasts were made for on a woman's body. They are not just decoration. We use our eyes to see, ears to hear, brains to think. No one would argue against using them and should not argue against breastfeeding.
Wow. I didnt know that people really were that adamantly against breastfeeding!
I cant imagine how you must have felt the first time you tried breastfeeding with all of the negative comments. I cant believe your ex thought breast milk was so gross that he wouldnt even feed it in a bottle to Alyssa!
It also makes me wonder... Do those people know that the milk you buy in the stores comes from a cow in the same way a human produces milk? Those cows are bred so they produce milk - which we steal to drink ourselves. How is that any less gross than human breastmilk?
I'm sorry that you got such negativity from your family and exhusband.
I did both. With my oldest I was young and basically uneducated. I wasn't comfortable in my body yet to be willing to give it in such a way. With my 2nd, I wanted to but didn't feel I could do it without the support of Mike. He was deployed and I was having an hard enough time as it was so I didn't try. When we got pregnant with Ethan I knew right away that I wanted to breastfeed darnit and nothing was going to stop me. I spent 3 horrible weeks just trying to get him to latch on while pumping pretty much constantly to build up my supply. He's over a year old now and we're stil at it.
@der_lila_Stern@xanga - Yup. It kind of grosses people out when I point out that they drink cow's breast (utter?) milk. Muahaha! That is part of the reason we drink soy milk here.
I'm sorry that you had to deal with so many unsupportive people!
I breastfed both of my children...I *almost* gave up with my first though, becuase she had such trouble latching. But finally we got it and she nursed until she was 15 months (I was 7 months pregnant). And then when I gave birth to my son, he latched on with no problem and he is still nursing strong. He will be 15 months in 3 days. I decided to breastfeed because of all the good things for the baby, and also its free!
Thank you for sharing your story
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@TornadoChaser - With my older children, I was much the same way. It just wasn't something I felt comfortable doing. My biggest regret was not being able to really breastfeed Em, but that is just how it happens sometimes.
@der_lila_Stern@xanga - Nope- people just think milk comes from the store! Trust me and my experience (I milked for 3 years): getting milk from cows is every bit as gross (and much dirtier) as nursing ones baby. But then, with what I've seen and done on the farm, I may be a bit calloused. ;) LOL!
I really, really, REALLY want to breastfeed since I know that is best for my baby. And I have a lot of support for that, even from my husband (I have heard, believe it or not, of some husbands who are not willing to 'share'). I hope I'll be able to, at least. My genes would not lend themselves to it, since my maternal grandmother, aunt, and mom also really wanted to breastfeed their babies and none of them was ever very successful. And NOT for lack of trying or a positive attitude! So, while I agree that breast milk is the best thing for any baby, I can't knock anyone else for not doing it because some people simply can't or their situations won't allow them to.
@Mom2Be - my sister lives near Hershey, PA. My brother-in-laws family owned a dairy farm. (I cant even count how many dairy farms it takes to support Hershey!) I dated someone whose family owned a small farm - with about 10 head of cattle. It is definitely gross. I wonder how many people would drink milk if they only knew... And if they would buy chocolate milk if they knew how it was decided the milk would be made into chocolate milk instead of just left plain... I think I have become calloused as well!
@der_lila_Stern@xanga - HEHE! But really, I have to say, I wouldn't trade my farming experience for the world... and I still drink milk... RAW milk.
Thats awful how they reacted, its a natural thing ya know?
I did both, I breasfed K when i was with her and I pumped and gave the milk to SOnja when she had her during the day or when I was umpiring at night I'd give my husband a pumped bottle. I did that until K was 5 months old and I started having kidney problems. I loved it the entire time.