Friday, 17 April 2009
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Was life really that different back when?
As you all know; I am an older mommy. My oldest son graduates high school in May the day after I celebrate my 21st birthday for the 19th time.
Coming from a different generation I find myself asking if times have changed that much or does it just seem that way? When I was in high school we had computers. They used DOS. There was no such thing as Windows and the thought of not only owning one computer but sometimes as many as five, wasn't even in my wildest dreams. When I wanted to talk with a friend; I actually had to use the landline phone. Which brings me to; we simply called it the phone, there was no "landline".
AOL, myspace, facebook; never saw it coming. Cell phone had just started to come out my senior year of high school. They were these HUGE things that you wanted but that nobody could afford to actually use. Airtime was something in the range of four dollars a minute; so while it was a status symbol to own one; you never actually used it.
Alcohol and drugs were most certainly around. Pot was the drug of choice among most teens. I personally was terrified of it so I never had an experience with drugs of any kind. I did occasionally drink wine coolers. Usually nursing one through a party just so I had something in my hands. The first time I can remember taking a drink was when I turned sixteen.
Today, kids as young as ten are experimenting with drugs and alcohol. At ten I was still secretly playing with my Barbie; I didn't even know what pot was. Kids as young as twelve suspected of fathering children. Teachers having relationships with sixth graders; seriously?
My curiosity is this; was all this occurring back then and we just didn't hear about it as much? We didn't have twenty four hour news channels. Hell, we had four channels total when I was young. Is it now just the total coverage available that makes things seem so much worse; or is it really so much worse?
I knew kids that died of drug overdoses. I knew kids that committed suicide. I knew two kids that almost lost their lives in a car accident. I even knew a young girl that was murdered. The difference back then was; this was not something that made the news. Well, with the exception of the murder, but even that was just a half page in the back of the metro section. There were no Amber Alerts; Wal-Mart didn't have Code Adams; yet these things were most likely still occurring.
Today, every single one of those incidents most likely would have made national news and been reported on for days. Most likely it would even be given a catchy title; "The Search for the Train Track Murderer" or something equally silly.
So, in my wandering thoughts I still wonder; is it really so much worse now or is it just more widely reported on? With the internet in most every teens room, there is a whole new predator to watch out for, but are they any less safe now than we were back when? Thoughts??
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Comments (3)
Hmm... interesting thought. I tend to get a little irritated when I hear that things are so much worse now than they've ever been... I think each generation has it's own "devils", but because they're different than the previous generations's they seem worse. I mean, when you think about it, way back when people used to watch lions eat people for fun (Roman coliseum). There may be violence on TV... but nothing quite to that level!!
Anyway, we're raising our kids according to standards that we choose, not the standards of society, you know? Not that we can control them when they're 16, but if the foundation is there, they have something to ground them.
I'm an older mommy, too and I wonder the same thing. I honestly don't know if things are worse... maybe just different? Bad things have always happened, now we know more about them because we are able to share and communicate very easily. We are also more open as society, so we don't keep our skeletons locked in a closet these days. Because of this, people's bad choices are out in the open. On the flip side, their coping with bad choices and all the good choices are out there, too, but aren't as interesting...
I have a lot older customers. Some of them tell me their "day" was so much better than the present. Others marvel at how many wonderful things have occurred in their lifetime. I think their view depends on their personal outlook on life. I am always amazed when an older person, especially a woman, tells me how the world has changed from her youth to now.
I also think that kids are exposed to so much information its insane. They are smart because they suck up tons of information, but not always emotionally mature enough to use those smarts to make good choices. When my neices hit puberty, there was more pressure to date and be "cool" before they even got out elemtary school. I couldn't believe it. You could not pay me any amount of money to be a kid again. With mass communication and mass media comes mass pressures for kids. I think that part is not so great and that we had it much better.
There are so many things that are still the same - they are just handled differently.
In my high school (and among many of the people I still know), pot was the drug of choice. It used to be that pot was illegal, but not seen as a big deal. Now, it is seen as a 'gateway' drug - it causes people to do other drugs. (I still havent figured that out. I have smoked pot in my life, but I have never once wanted to do any other drugs. Perhaps it is a 'gateway' because of where people have to go to get it?)
My Dad told me a story one time about when he went out with a bunch of friends for drinks. He was underage. So his brother showed the waitress his ID. Then my uncle's ID got passed under the table to my Dad - who showed the waitress the same ID and got away with it. (Are peole still that stupid? YUP!)
Take the movie 'Changeling' as a good example of Amber Alerts from years passed. Kidnappings happened, they just werent given the attention they are now.
A friend of ours (who is currently 36) admitted to having sex at age 12. Im sure that people in older generations were having sex at similar young ages - I just dont know for certain. In fact, I would be willing to argue that it was more likely for them to be having sex at a younger age. Now, kids can sit at home completely seperate from their friends and peers and carry on conversations - on their own phone or on the internet. In years past, they would have had to be near each other to have conversations - so there was a lot more face-to-face interaction.
I also think that promiscuity was just as rampant - but it isnt something you tell your kids. I have gotten a lot of hints at people sleeping around and having tons of different girlfriends/boyfriends from the letters from my Grandpa during WWII.
The technology is absolutely different. Is it better? That all depends on who you ask! How many 10 year olds dont know what to do when the electricity goes out? Ever been trying to check out at a store when it has lost power? (What a nightmare!) But my Grandpa was always happy sitting for hours and watching the traffic or the cats or whatever.
Ok, I will shut up now. I think I have said enough to prove my point. And Im not sure if any of it even made sense!