Tuesday, 25 August 2009
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I really MUST stop reading the front page
I naturally followed RoAngie467's blog on the front page. Not exactly a stretch to assume that I would. I thought she made some great arguments and was sorry to see many people dismiss her simply because she disagreed with them. Well, much like watching a train wreck, I have gone back a few times to see any new comments. Someone really get me into therapy because I must stop this self destructive behavior.
I just read one of the last comments and the person actually said; "Why have a mentally challenged child? What will that child contribute to society?" Oh, it is so on.
My child may never contribute anything to society as a whole. She may never cure cancer, she may never give us World peace, she may never even graduate high school, but damnit she contributes to my life every single moment of every single day and that is enough for me.
Since when do we decide someone is worthy of living based solely on their possible contributions to this world? I doubt that any of my children will have a huge impact on this world outside of our small little part of it and I am perfectly okay with that. I am forty years old and other than putting way too many kids on this earth according to some; I have not exactly left my mark.
I know I have beaten this to death lately, but I am just so sick of ignorance. My daughter has a disability. We pay for all of her care out of our own pockets so this whole "she is a drain on society" is just total bullshit. My child is an amazing child. Will she be the President of the United States someday? Probably not. Could she do a better job than some former ones? Absolutely.
So, my vow from this day forward is to ignore all the ignorance and move forward in my life of denial. Perhaps that is enough of a contribution to society to allow me to live on this earth.
Again, I don't say this life is for everyone. I get that some people really can't handle a child with a disability. I respect that and would never judge someone for choosing a different path than my own. I guess you could say that Emily has contributed to society; she has caused me to write some blogs that I most likely would have never written had she not had Down syndrome. I am not sure that is a good thing or bad thing. Sorry.
(deep breaths and stepping off soapbox yet again)
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Comments (29)
I am sorry,, every time I reply i get attacked but I still like to read. :(
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!
These idiots are driving me crazy. Some people are so ignorant it's ridiculous.Let's TRY to ignore them! lol :)I've made a vow to just put my username and password in on the xanga front page, then walk away till it loads my universal inbox. I'm not friended/subbed to featured content or top blogs, so I don't see front page posts all that often. This way I'm not banging my head against the desk at the ignorance that is the front page.
I'm sorry people are that ignorant though. I know plenty of kids with DS who contribute to society each and everyday. One works as a bell hop at a hotel I go to often. His speech is a little slurred and he looks "different", but he is the kindest, sweetest, most respectful gentleman I know. He opens doors, rushes to help women out of their cars, eagerly carries bags into the hotel and is probably one of the best employees at that hotel. He always has a smile on his face, and will talk to anyone that will listen. The enthusiasm he displays doing a job that most of us would find mundane is contagious. I'm always in a good mood whenever I walk in because of the overall good attitude he has.
I've seen the way people treated him before though, and each time I've wanted to kick them in the teeth, hard. One woman refused to turn her suitcases over to him and wouldn't allow him anywhere near the trunk of her car. Another man spit at him and laughed when he started to cry. One young hoodlum thought it would be a good idea to offer him some "candy". It was actually medication that would have caused him to have a heart attack and die. Thankfully his uncle (the owner of the hotel) saw what was going on and chased the young man off before my friend could take the pill.
Yet through all that has happened to him, he still manages to keep that smile. I asked him one day after a particularly brutal work day how he managed to keep such a good attitude. What he said melted my heart:
"Its easier to be happy and takes less energy to be in a good mood."
I honestly wish more people could be like him. He may never cure cancer or work as the CEO of a fortune 500 company, but damnit his attitude can make even the most horrible of days seem a little brighter.
@lizheartshakespeare@xanga - He sounds like an amazing man and people could learn some valuable lessons from him. Thanks for sharing that story.
@AbsolutelyNormalChaos61308@xanga - LOL, I am trying. I know you are too.
Honestly, there are a lot of "normal" people who don't contribute to society, actually, they probably make society WORSE, so with that philosophy, why bother having kids at all?
There is a disbaled adult working at the grocery store next to ours, I would suspect autism or something along those lines. He may never find a cure to cancer or save lives on a daily basis, but he is damn good at what he does and its very obvious he takes a lot of pride in what he does, so much so that I point it out to my son every time we see this man working.
No contribution to society my left foot... Who says that you need to be "normal" to change a life, to make the world a little better, to better society? Poppycock!
I didn't read the post you referenced, but I saw it; I stayed away on purpose, for probably the same reason you stated. Ignorance. If life isn't worth anything unless you meet certain requirements, than I know a lot of people who need to be euthanized. That's where this sorta ignorance takes us... Hitler may be dead, but his ideas live on unfortunately. (Is that harsh? Oh well...sigh)
Ange... did I ever tell you that my great-great aunt had DS in the 1930's? My great-grandfather's sister. They were completely ostracized from their community because my great grandfather refused to put her in an institution.. even though having a child with DS was considered embarassing and an abomination to the family. She never spent a single day in an institution, which was the ONLY way back then... Just thought I'd share that tidbit with ya :)
@AbsolutelyNormalChaos61308@xanga - I think I remember you mentioning that. Your great grandfather is my hero, I swear. As recently as the seventies, people still felt that institutions were the place for children like Emily. I can't even imagine.
Matt had a friend in high school (early 80's) whose sister had Down syndrome. This family kept her literally locked away in a back bedroom. They weren't bad people, they just didn't understand that what they were doing was harmful. When he ran into that friend at a reunion, he told him about Emily. The guy was shocked that she was treated just like all the other children. That simply saddens me.
I am about to cry reading that. Really it touched me.
There are many many many people that are normal and don't contribute any good to society. There are also people that don't fit in with society but touch everyone that come around. There are so many good things about YOUR child that out way the bad.
I only read a few of the comments because the absolute ignorance is ridiculous. Someone even made a comment about the picture 'the author used' and that most people dont have abortions that far along. Good thing they know at that the author doesnt always pick the picture!
It also really bothered me that people were attacking Rohanie for her position. She wasnt condemning people for choosing abortion - she was simply giving another side to the story.
I also think that it is ridiculous that so many people are like 'it matter that it is 2009, nothing has changed'. Yes, kids are cruel - but it doesnt matter if you are disabled in any way or not. Kids will make fun of you for anything! And obviously they know nothing about how bad things used to be for kids with disabilities!
@care - Im glad Im not the only one who thought that not all 'normal' kids 'contribute to society'
That is such an ignorant statement. There are plenty of "normal" people who do nothing for society but bring it down and ruin it (could be why our nation is so effed up). I believe anyone, and everyone, possesses the power to improve society. Sure, Emily may never cure cancer or fly to the moon, but neither will you or I (presumably). She may never hold down a powerful job but their are plenty, plenty of "normal" people who never do this as well. Emily is an inspiration to ME and I don't even know her. She helps society by beating the odds and being a bright spot to, I assure, many of the people she comes into contact with. Just because she has Down Syndrome does not mean she is not a contributing member of society and that person assuming she won't be pisses me off!
@der_lila_Stern@xanga - I agree, I felt like they were attacking her and she was really just stating her opinion. She handled herself far better than I would have. Never once did she resort to attacking even though she had plenty of reason to attack back.
@waking_up_older@xanga - Thank you so very much. It is great to hear that Emily has touched other people besides her family.
Can I start firebombing McDonalds' and use that as a defense? 'Those MF'er's weren't contributing anything worth while, your honor. All they were doing was driving badly and making it harder for everyone to get to Barnes & Noble, dammit...and, by everyone, of course, I mean me...' (A side: I've been reading far too much Jodi. I'm looking for ways to justify homocide at every turn these days, aren't I?)
Seriously though? The girl that bagged my groceries a couple of weeks ago (and also happened to have the physical markers for DS, but appeared like any other teenager working a Summer job otherwise) smiled at me and contributed more to my day that the (apparently, "normal") cashier grumbling her way through life that we encountered today. Who would society be better without?? Can we locate the gene responsible for making miserable people and start testing for that?
@filtered_sunlight - Oh, how I would love that. The "pissy" gene test. I am in need of a Jodi fix; she needs to put a new book out already.
@gwacemom - 'Songs of...' has been good so far, but...was it her first or a really early one? Something about it just doesn't "flow" as nicely as the more recent books I've read... Would you like me to send it your way when I'm done reading it?
@filtered_sunlight - I think that was her first one. If not it was definately one of the first. I am going to take a look around for it, but if I can't find it really cheap I will be taking you up on your offer.
@gwacemom - I think the cheapest I've seen it alone was $11 at wal-mart...we paid $14 with Tim's B&N card, plus got the third book free. ...there's been a bit more "drama" in it since we last spoke, but I'm still waiting for the BIG curveball...
@gwacemom - I have that gene, but it is in control. Most days... good thing it isnt tested for!
@filtered_sunlight - you should check out www.half.com. It is run by ebay, but it is all media - and there is no bidding. I used it for all of my textbooks, but they have others as well. Just make sure you consider shipping costs. (I dont know why I havent thought to share this before!)
@der_lila_Stern@xanga - I probably wouldn't be here if they tested for the "pissy" gene. LOL, my mother would have ended it long ago.
@der_lila_Stern@xanga - Sweet! I'll have to check there for some of the books that I'm looking for for Megan; "Chicka Chicka Boom Boom" & "The Pigeon..." series... (OMG, I about peed myself in B&N reading "The Pigeon Wants a Puppy".)
@filtered_sunlight - Can we locate the gene responsible for making miserable people and start testing for that? OMG. I was laughing my butt off reading your comment!
@care - Reading the comments above now (I'm a slacker like that), it sounds like we have the same ideas on this topic. ... I believe it's Aspergers that doesn't impact the person nearly as badly as...well, I'm lacking a lot of terms here, but what most of us think of when we picture 'Autism'. The person will still be slower at picking up new skills, but are gifted with an incredible focus on the task at hand. If I could just find a way to rub a little of that off on our boys...
Contributing to society doesn't necessarily mean every person feels the impact, just a smile can be a contribution. This is a good post.
@TheRiverIsEverywhere@xanga - Thank you for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment. I agree with you, a smile is often enough for me.