Friday, 13 November 2009
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Punishment isn't fun?
Who knew? I mean, I was always under the impression that punishment was like taking a trip to Disney World. (I would put my sarcastic smiley here, but they aren't working)
A few days ago we had a situation that reached crisis level with one of the kids. In all honesty, it had been at this level for some time, but M and I finally reached an agreement that something had to be done. Grades were an issue as well as serious backtalking and general disrespect. In an effort to once and for all end this; we decided to lay down the law.
The child in question was scheduled for a class trip to an amusement park on Wednesday. School was out for the holiday and the school had arranged the tour bus and a day up in LA. It was decided that due to the recent behavior, J was not making the trip. We had to do something to make our point, and other punishments just weren't working.
The problem was, we had already paid for the trip and it wasn't cheap. The ticket was non refundable and non transferable. I would also be the parent left to tend to the child while his step sister went on the trip. M was working and this was a nightmare just waiting to happen. After much discussing back and forth a compromise was worked out. We would allow the trip, BUT, he would be made to give up all things electronics for one week as a result of his behavioral issues. This meant, no cell phone, no video games, no radio, no ipod, no computer, and no television. Well, Mr. Ten Feet Tall and I Don't Give a Damn, thought he was getting off easy and agreed immediately.
It is now Friday and due to ongoing behavior issues, we are up to two weeks without electronics with a third week under debate at the moment. The third week came into play this morning. I came into the kitchen and discovered a clock radio sitting on the table. I asked oldest child why it was there. Well, I guess I had forgotten to unplug it in J's room and he had it hidden on his bed last night listening to music. A direct violation of the "no electronics" rule.
When I asked him why he thought he could violate the terms of the deal his answer was; "It is all your fault. I am so flipping bored because there is nothing to do. You aren't fair. This punishment isn't easy and I didn't do anything but turn on the radio for three flipping seconds." My reply; "I hope it was worth it because now we have to discuss adding on another week."
Apparently in J's mind punishment should be milk and cookies. He is in for a long hard lesson.
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Comments (24)
lol wow, I hope he has an attitude adjustment soon. But I'd love to hear more of the excuses, they are definately amuzing. =) Some people have to learn the hard way.
Next time he says he is bored, you should hand him a book.
@wolvenchic@xanga - That was my thinking. He isn't confined to his room; that is a choice HE is making. We live on almost an acre of land, he could be outside playing basketball or riding his bike. I worry that he can't seem to amuse himself without electronics.
I am keeping a list of the latest excuses for another round of "are you listening". They keep me laughing.
Oh Man, I knew very early on not to say "I'm bored" around my mother because she always had a chore she could easily assign to me. I've been pretty lucky in that the boys are so addicted, one to their DVD player and the other to the Computer. Just the thought of loosing them for a day brings on so much anxiety they rarely mess up. I love electronics!!!!, LOL
I think I will give my computer a Big Hug!!!
I am loving the excuses. I know that I shouldnt, but they are just making me laugh and as long as he doesnt know we all think they are funny then its ok to laugh at them right ha?
Punishment is no walk in the park- when was it ever? He is in for a rude awakening here soon!!!
@P1AutismMom@autisable - LOL, I can recall this very child just a few weeks ago when I implemented my "you all pay if one person leaves their dish on the table" rule. He was walking around bragging that it "was no big deal, he could handle it no problem". We are on day two and he is a freaking basket case. I just found his psp that he claimed he "lost". It was on the far side of his bed between the bed and the wall. A perfect place to drop it the moment you hear your door open. Poor thing, it is now hidden with his phone. I don't plan on saying a word. I just will wait until he discovers it gone.
My mother wouldn't let the word "bored" fly out of our mouths. There was always a closet that needed to be organized or garages to be cleaned. He really is in for a rude awakening.
@xo_heather_marie_ox@xanga - LOL, the list of excuses make for a wonderful blog later. These kids have given me some of my best work.
What, punishment isn't supposed to be fun?! Man, where have I been? Geez! Kids crack me up.
@gwacemom - I'm guessing this child is in the puberty range. LOL Well, he hasn't had to see the full repercussions yet with all his stash concealed but once his supply is gone, he will have to start singing a different tune. We Hope!!! Hang tough Momma :)
@Luv2BMama@xanga - LOL, I know, He actually told me it was "cruel and unusual punishment". Dude, you got your electronics taken away, not your food.
@P1AutismMom@autisable - Sadly, this is my step son and he has had these issues since before I got in the picture. I really hope that this finally does the trick.
Considering all your step kids have been through (with their mom) I'm glad they have you and their dad to guide them. I'm also glad I don't have teenagers yet!!
He needs a swift kick in the ass. But that probably wouldn't help either... :-/
@AbsolutelyNormalChaos61308@xanga - I am considering that next.
I just remembered I wanted to ask you about something. How extensive is your knowledge of environmental autism?
@Madre_Pequena@xanga - Extremely limited to none. Do you think this might be part of the issue?
@gwacemom - I'd say you guys would be the best judge of that, you know him better than anyone. I've just been wondering about my brother.
- @Madre_Pequena@xanga - I have very limited knowledge of autism. There is a mom that could probably answer your questions, though. She commented a few up on this topic. P1Autismmom, she is very nice and knows way more than I do.
@P1AutismMom@autisable - I wish I could assign the kids more responsibilities when they kvetch that they're bored...unfortunately, they both subscribe to the Paris Hilton school of thought; "If we do it badly, we won't be asked to do it again!" Ugh. I hate that it works so well...but...damn...it does. LOL
@gwacemom - See? I told you he'd care! LOL. That's the problem we had previously run into with the boys...we'd say, "Okay, enough with the videogames for the day!" they'd slink off to their bedroom with the plug-and-play games. However, since the Freecycle episode? That hasn't been a worry!
@filtered_sunlight - Oh the drama that has ensued. He really thought that Matt would cave after day one. He was crying; crying for the love of pete; last night in his room. "oh poor poor little deprived boy".
I am just happy that Matt is taking my stand seriously and not giving in. I can last for months and it just might take that long before J gets out of the "it is everyone elses fault" mindset.
@gwacemom - Yay for Matt!! *resumes jiggling the twins in the cheerleader costume*
Hi.. I was just passing by, but didn't wanted to leave without droppin you a message! :)
J has admitted this is a real punishment to him, so bring in that third week if he doesn't understand he needs to change his behavior.
The first time my colleague told me she gave her sons a "plug-ban" (everything with a plug ie electronics is banned) I knew I should remember that for when I have kids that old. hahaha
lol i would have dont the same thing! i dont even like telling sammi no but its better now lol i think an older child is easier to punish ha ha /
Ugh, I have a little cousin (he's 14) that has the same feeling about punishment. He always complains to his parents how unfair they're being but can't seem to get it through his head that if he simply behaves, he wouldn't be punished.
Punishment is given if kids are too much...like we said for many times but they still stubburn and disobey what we had told them to correct the bad attitudes. Other then this matter, I do play with them. As a parent of 3 kids, I have 3 different character power rangers which I have to think 3 different ways to treat them correctly. If I apply the wrong way of punishment, they do not feel my anger and their mistakes.
@filtered_sunlight - LMAO!!!
I want milk and cookies!! Preferrably homemade chocolate chip cookies. That sounds like a good punishment to me!