The past few days have not been what I would call the most pleasant of days. I finally got all the kids back at school fulltime only to learn that after the holiday, Liz once again has parent conferences and will be getting out at 12:30 all that week. She just had them a month ago, so I am a bit confused as to why we are doing it again. Josh and Alyssa had them all this past week and were out early Monday through Thursday. Can't I get one week where the freaking schedule stays normal?

As I mentioned, H's brother came and took the kids for the weekend. It was a break I really needed and they love to spend time with his family. I had high hopes for a nice, quiet, productive weekend. So far, not so much.

After my disaster that was toys r us I have come to realize that I really dislike people. I don't mean I can't maintain friendships, but I really, really hate crowds of people. They annoy me beyond reason. I am shopping strictly online and avoiding crowds at all cost.

I didn't do so well with that last night. Whitney, Mandi, and Alyssa were going to the mall to see a movie. It is the weekend before Thanksgiving, "New Moon" was just released, and every crazy person within a hundred mile radius was at the mall. Just dropping them off was enough to cause me to want to pull my hair out.

It was on my way home that I received the following call from Matt;

"Hi honey, I was just wondering, um; well....Okay, I went to the bedroom to make a fire and I left the laptop open on the kitchen table. Well, you know how Emily loves to imitate you on the computer. I walked in and she was sitting in the chair just typing away and I thought she looked so cute. Yeah, well then I walked over and discovered she had popped off about five keys from the keyboard. I think we are going to have to order a new one."

Oy vey, please tell me this is a joke. Nope, my beauty queen followed in her brothers footsteps and broke about five keys off my keyboard. Caleb did this after I left it open right after we got the thing. I learned then to always close it when I had to walk away. The difference between then and now was; it was still under warranty when Caleb did it. We just called Dell and they sent someone right out. Now, it is a year out of the warranty and we have to fix it ourselves. Yikes.

I searched online for thirty minutes for a replacement keyboard with no luck. Matt finally found it and ordered it. Thankfully, we have a keyboard thing that we purchased with the laptop thinking that we would use this more as our desktop computer than a laptop. We didn't do that, but the keyboard has been just waiting for such an occasion. The problem is that I am so used to the laptop keyboard that I am making tons of mistakes. Ugh.

I woke up early this morning to the sounds of Sebastian (the dog soon to be coyote food if he continues this) knocking over the trash can in the kitchen. We bring him in at night because of the coyote problem. Normally we put the can into the bathroom and close the door so that he isn't tempted. Someone (koffmattkoff) forgot to do that and went so far as to leave the bathroom door open. Well, Sebastian is a good dog, but when you leave a trash can and a bathroom open to him, he is like Eve with the apple. He just had to eat it. Nothing like cleaning up a huge mess at 6am.

Since I was up I thought it would be a great time to finish my dinner from the previous night. I had stopped at KFC and I had purposely left some of my chicken for today. I head to the fridge to discover someone (koffWhitneykoff) had eaten my leftovers. This day is not starting out promising at all.

Today will be spent searching online for the best deals out there on the items that I need. I can think of nothing I need that I won't be able to find online.

Have a great Saturday.

Yes, it is that time once again. I am having one of those kind of days where the entire family (including the dog) is on my nerves. This shall be the family edition of things I wish people understood. As always, my tongue is firmly in my cheek when I write these. If you lack a sense of humor, please stop now. Humor is required to understand the list. Thanks!

1. When you are warming something up in the microwave that contains gravy; it IS going to splatter. Put a cover over it or clean the mess yourself. An "Oh, I am so sorry honey" really doesn't get the microwave clean now does it?
2. Beds are made for sleeping. No, dragging  your mattress into the living room because "it is more comfortable" makes no sense and is really annoying when I get up in the morning and have to step over said mattress.
3. When you only get sick at your friends house, perhaps I am correct and it is the five indoor dogs that are causing your eyes to turn red and burn. For once, listen to your mother.
4. For the two middle schoolers; your grades are now up online. I can check to see if your homework is completed or not, so don't lie about it. You will be caught.
5. Emily, diapers are to be worn at all times. I know you like commando, but my furniture doesn't.
6. Doing the dishes without being told will earn you a huge thank you. What it will not earn you is your electronics back. I said three weeks, I meant three weeks. You want them back, bring up your grades and alter your attitude. Kissing up is nice, but it doesn't negate the reason for the punishment.
7. Picking up the books does not mean shoving them onto the shelf. There is an order and it is pretty simple to figure out. (Yes, I am anal. You would be to if you had seven kids.)
8. When I am on the phone is not the best time to ask me to help with homework, what I did that day, can you do something this weekend, etc. I spend less than ten minutes on the phone a week; can't you just give me that ten minutes in peace?
9. No, you cannot use my laptop "real quick" if Caleb is on the other computer. Are you high? Wait your turn or read a book. The laptop is the one thing in the house that is MINE. I do not share.
10. Yes, Wednesday is still date night and no, you can't come with us.
11. Why yes, as a matter of fact that is a new purse. When you get a job you can buy yourself things too. Until then, appreciate what you are given and quit rolling your eyes when I get something new.
12. No, I don't care if your English teacher claims it is "manditory" that I attend this open house. When she can learn to spell "mandatory" tell her I will be there. Until then, I am busy.
13. The whole "all my teacher's hate me" excuse is getting old. If that were the case they would all be passing you so that they wouldn't have to deal with you next year. They are failing you because you aren't doing your work. Go figure.
14. When I say "stay" that means stay. It does not mean wait until I get the gate open and escape when my arms are too full to stop you. (that was for the dog)
15. I don't care how many times that crazy lady calls; I am still in the shower and Dad is still sleeping. Yes, even if it is 6 am.
16. Yet again, dinner is whatever is placed in front of you at dinner time.
17. Speaking of, we eat at pretty much the same time each night. I have never forgotten to feed you, so please do not ask me a thousand times what time dinner is. It will be the same time as always.
18. I still don't know what time Dad is coming home or if he is working on his days off. Ask him.
19. When I am battling the flu, I don't care how sexy I look in my ratty sweats and oversized sweatshirt. No means no, damnit.

Okay, that is all for now. Not as funny as normal, but I have been having off days.

  Matt sent this too me and it just cracked me up.

A little boy goes to his father and asks 'Daddy, how was I born?'  

The father answers, 'Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!  Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on AOL.  Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.  We sneaked into a secluded room, and googled each other.  There your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.  As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:  


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'You got Male!