Today I discovered that Emily was going to have to undergo yet another surgery. I didn't handle it well and for that I am ashamed.

Yes, we are facing a difficult time at the moment, but in the grand scheme of life; we are one of the lucky ones. Emily's heart is repaired and working wonderfully. She is showing few signs of being delayed. She did not have the laundry list of medical issues that some children with Down syndrome are dealt.

I have come to know many families of children with CHD and Down syndrome these last three years. I have cried when their child lost their battle with leukemia. I have waited anxiously to hear if another was going to survive her fourth heart surgery before her first birthday. I have rejoiced when their children finally came home only to cry when they were taken back to the hospital days later in cardiac arrest.

I found out today that Emily might always have this issue and that we might always have to take steps to help her with it. I cried because I felt it was unfair. I then looked around and realized; my daughter is sitting here smiling at me. She was never forced to spend almost a year in the hospital. She has never undergone chemo. I have never felt the fear that I might lose her.

We are blessed and somewhere along the way today I forgot that. I promise to never forget that again.

Emily is healthy and this small problem is not going to keep us down.

My Vegas trip got a seriously delayed start. Poor Emily had yet another episode with her tummy and it was the worst one yet. I had hoped that the surgery would correct the problem, but I feel like we are putting a bandaid on an amputated limb at this point. We go back to the surgeon tomorrow and are not leaving until we have a long term solution.

First we had the issue with the rental car. The plan was to pick it up late Thursday so that I could leave as soon as the kids got out of school. That would have put me in Vegas around 8, just a few hours after April and Sarah landed. Due to the fact that we had just returned a rental car on Sunday, my credit card company thought it would be nice to flag my account as possible fraud. I am glad they are on top of things, but I just wish they had called me first. Neither of our cards would work because not only did the credit card company flag us, so did the rental place. We were screwed on both ends. Yet again, NEVER rent a car twice in one week unless you want a big old headache.

I planned on just taking our car and leaving Matt home with his four seater. He assured me they would be fine and if anything major happened, he had Jake here to watch the little ones while he handled it. Emily's tummy issue put a whole new spin on things and I knew I wouldn't be leaving at 3 after all. I had had the fraud hold released on the credit card that morning, so since I was home for the foreseeable future, I decided to rent another car. The plan was to pick it up around 7, come home and sleep for a few hours and then head out so I would be in Vegas before they woke up. That is what I did and headed out just before midnight. This is where it apparently got fun, but I didn't hear about it until last night.

Everyone was sleeping when I left, so I quietly loaded up and hit the road. I made it to Vegas just shortly before five and Sarah and April woke up to welcome me. I had originally thought Sarah would just let me in, I would crawl into bed with April, and we would all get a few more hours sleep. That so didn't happen. April heard Sarah's phone ringing, so she was awake and waiting for us when we got back up to the room. We didn't sleep again until around 11 that night. I haven't laughed so much in years.

More on that after I have had sleep.

I arrived home last night around midnight. I was seriously stuck in traffic up in the  mountains for over an hour. Stupid Ag checkpoint. Once I got out of that mess, it was smooth sailing. Matt waited up for me because he worries about me driving at night alone. As we were catching one another up on our weekends he started laughing and said "I really need to tell you this, but I don't want to freak you out."

I am thinking to myself, I have seen both the younger kids and both are alive and well, how bad could this be? Oh it was bad.

He was asleep when I left as was everyone else. I didn't wake him because I didn't want him to sit up and worry about my driving. Emily was asleep in her bed in our room. Matt said that somewhere around 3 he woke up, rolled over to see if I had gone, and then rolled back over to take a peek at Em. Em wasn't there. Now, this isn't unusual; Emily will sometime curl up into a little ball in the corner and in the dark can be difficult to see. He said he didn't panic at first. He got up, went over to her bed and she was literally not there. He pulled the covers off, he looked on Caleb's bed; no Emily.

Panic begins to set in. He next heads out of our room and into the living room where Jake and Caleb had camped out. No Emily. He checks Liz's room and Josh's room to no avail. It is about this time that he remembers that Emily just learned how to open the kitchen door to the outside. He checks the door and it is locked. Phew, she isn't out in the cold, but where is she?

He is on his way back to our room with the intent to call me on the off chance that I have lost  my mind and taken her with me without telling him. As he walks into our room he sees a little foot sticking out from the end of our bed. The way our room is arranged, he would not have noticed it until he walked back into the room. At some point Emily had gotten up most likely to head over to my side of the bed for a cuddle. She made it halfway and then fell back to sleep. Poor Matt said all he could think was; "She has been gone two hours and I already lost the baby."

The next night she slept with him. LOL